The Apple That is Desire (hariko) wrote in eruhoh,
The Apple That is Desire
hariko
eruhoh

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Greetings.

Hello, if you're reading this, you have obviously decided to take part in the global corporation family that is ERUHOH. Some people would like to believe we're a cult, but in fact, we're not a cult at all. There are no primitive religious ceremonies here at ERUHOH. We don't have time for that nonsense. There are no spiritual beings to pray to, nor do you have to attend some pointless mass.

No, we only want one thing from you at ERUHOH and that's your "free will". We just want to enslave you and make you part of our GLOBAL CORPORATION FAMILY. We here at ERUHOH know that you're not good enough on your own, we know that your really not even living up to half of your maximum potential, but that can all change! Oh yes! By joining the ERUHOH GLOBAL CORPORATION FAMILY you will be bettering yourself, and that is our personal dream. Through our extensive training program, you will not only be living up to your maximum potential but with a purpose and meaning!

What is our training program you ask? Well, allow me to explain.

DOING LOTS OF WORK FOR US AND NOT GETTING PAID!!!! Now, how can you turn down this once and a lifetime chance!?

Not only that! If you join now, we WILL include GOAT PORN! Oh yes, AND PUDDING!

Now we know you're interested in joining our GLOBAL CORPORATION FAMILY but there are some of those who are against us. These are the followers of some silly sports drink called Sunaaka. Let me, give you a little excerpt of how these fools think:

ckyrl: Eruhoh SCUM <== (Wonderfully intelligent comment.)
Fabrice: Excuse me?
ckyrl: ERUHO SCUM <== (THEN he spells it wrong.)
Fabrice: So, that's what the losers at Sunaaka do?
Fabrice: they resort to taunting eh?
ckyrl: no i got bored <==( BOREDOM! We at ERUHOH WILL ALWAYS PROVIDE YOU WITH SLAVE LABOR TO DO!)
Fabrice: Boy. You guys. Man.
Fabrice: Oh, why don't you go worship that sports drink you call a god and jerk off?
ckyrl: im sure if you looked at user info
ckyrl: Sunaaka would be infront
ckyrl: members wise
Fabrice: Like I said
Fabrice: There are more losers in this world than winners.
Fabrice: so of course you'd have large poplous of members ^_^
ckyrl: and we will suceed
Fabrice: *pat pat* it's ok
Fabrice: oh yes, I'm sure you will
Zero Gs 17: All from the confines of your cages.
ckyrl: anyways im habing a shower
ckyrl: cya <==(Obviously fearful that I would blow up his head with my mind powers)
Fabrice: ohhhh you guys shower? wow, step up old chap.

Now these Sunaaka followers actually think we're in competition. We're NOT. We're not some rival cult, those silly heathens.

Oh yes! If you join ERUHOH we promise that you will get extensive mind powers. Like the ability to think independently! But we'll have to break your will and force you to obideance! It's all for the good of your GLOBAL CORPORATION FAMILY of course.

Now, if you're interested in becoming a slave! JOIN US! In fact, don't THINK! Just join us! If you don't we will make your head explode. That's right, we have the ability to do that and you don't really want to test us DO you? Plus if your head doesn't explode, it's only because we plan on torturing you in some horrible way later. Something involving a walrus I'm sure.

I hope this was informative. If you have any questions, comments or concerns. Forget it, you should....

NOT QUESTION US!!!!!! DEATH TO ALL THOSE WHO DO!!!!!!!!

OR If you've decided that you rather not be killed in some horrible fashion!!! Send an email to:

death_pudding@hotmail.com

we will be happy to make you our slave!!!!

This message has been brought to you by:

ERUHOH!

We're taking over the world, one day at a time.
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  • (no subject)

    i don't quite understand what this community's about. can i be in it anyway?

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