The Apple That is Desire (hariko) wrote in eruhoh,
The Apple That is Desire
hariko
eruhoh

  • Mood:

Letter To The Masses # 1

Greetings Slaves,

Today I watched the Grammys. U2 took all the awards. You do realize that U2 is part of our GLOBAL CORPORATION FAMILY, so why aren't you? If you join, we MIGHT JUST MIGHT, give you a grammy. If not, at least you can look forward to slave labor.

It's been a great week so far! ERUHOH has forced..err ENLISTED! Countless members into our GLOBAL CORPORATION FAMILY all seems to be going well when it comes to phase 1.

However, we had a tragic incident involving the SHEEP/Prime Minister of Britian Tony Blair scandel, it turns out everything was true. That poor sheep never saw it coming.

Many people have been wondering what is the ERUHOH opinion on death. Well, we here at ERUHOH firmly believe that it's a natural part of life and it will come early to those WHO DON'T JOIN RIGHT NOW!

We at ERUHOH hope you enjoy your day, week, or whatever. If you had a bad week, it's probably because you haven't joined ERUHOH yet. If you had a bad week and are one of our slaves, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT THINGS LIKE BAD DAYS!? Get back to work maggot!!!!

--------
NEW MEMBER INTERVIEW SECTION!

God has decided to join the ERUHOH GLOBAL CORPORATION FAMILY We have an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH THE BIG CHIEF!!!!

ERUHOH: So God, why have you chosen to join ERUHOH

God: Well, you know, it was just the right thing to do.

YOU HEARD IT RIGHT HERE FOLKS! God thinks that joining ERUHOH is the RIGHT thing to do!!! SO WHY THE BLOODY HELL HAVEN'T YOU DONE IT YET!?!?!?!?!?!? Do YOU want eternal damnation?
--------

Slave Assignment:

We here at ERUHOH have conceived a very fantastic plan to psychologically destroy those who stand in our way. It's extremely detailed and involves the use of a telephone.

So here is your first assignment:

1. Pick up a phone and dial in a random number.

2. Once the person has answered, say this: "Hello, this is Dr. Rubin, we're just calling to tell you that the tests came back positive. Thank you." then hang up.

Do you KNOW the crippling effect this has on people? They won't know what to think! Spouses will think the other person has cancer! Boyfriends will assume their girlfriends are pregnant! Goats will think the sheeps sold them out to the communist government of Kentucky! In fact, if all goes well (which it will), it will all get back to the president and go like this!

Secret Service Agent: Uh, Mr. President Sir, a doctor just called and said that the results are positive.
President Bush: OH DEAR GOD!!

He will then procede to shoot himself in the head, that's when ERUHOH steps in to take control.
--------

Do you have a fantastic plan you think will help in ERUHOH's eventual hostile take over of the planet? EMAIL US AND TELL US ABOUT IT AT: death_pudding@hotmail.com.....If it's a really great plan, we may even put it an as one of our assignments!!!

--------

ERUHOH WANTS YOU!!!

The Following People Are Wanted:

- Someone who knows how to create mecha-cow.
- Someone who really can't believe it's not butter.
- Nicole Kidman (uhm just go straight to Fabrice's house, we'll inform you of your duties there.)
- Someone who has legs.

JOIN ERUHOH! We're the fastest growing GLOBAL CORPORATION FAMILY around!
--------

This message has been brought to you by:

ERUHOH! Join us OR DIE

We're taking over the world, one day at a time.
Subscribe

  • (no subject)

    i don't quite understand what this community's about. can i be in it anyway?

  • submit .:|:. commit .:|:. vomit

    I don't believe in free will, so you can have mine. I can improve your flimsy mecha-cows and produce gobs and gobs of death pudding for you... I…

  • A Post In The Eruhoh Community!

    Hail Ye !! What do I write? Oh ok, Hi, I'm ness. otherwise known as Princess Ness. I want people to add me to their MSN lists ... my address is:…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 3 comments